Summary of this Episode
In this episode of the Generous Marriage Podcast we discuss:
The Story of Tracy and Rob who are great friends, who know well how to take care of each other’s needs, and how to play and have fun together, but hardly have sex anymore. They have developed a lot of emotional security over the years they’ve been together. This emotional security, little by little, diminished the erotic tension between them.
Eroticism needs some mystery, some sense of overcoming challenges, but because they were so good with each other, it wasn’t challenging any more and their sex life declined.
Learning about maintaining a healthy erotic tension, and doing some differentiation work helped them revitalize their sex life and have a satisfying, free, creative sex.
DIfferentiation is the psychological process in which partners define themselves to each other by daring to share their inner worlds with each other if it wouldn’t be easy to the partner.
Daring to express yourself and your needs, rather than only taking care of your partner’s needs, creates a healthy distance between you, which is sexy, and important in maintaining a healthy erotic tension.
- The tool of Core Erotic Theme, a concept developed by Jack Morin, a sex therapist from San Francisco who studied more than 1000 stories of peak sexual experiences he gathered from Sexual Excitement Survey. Core Erotic Theme is the internal blueprint for arousal we have that can transform old childhood and adolescent wounds and conflicts into excitation.
The research was done by Jack Morin who gave the Sexual Excitement Survey to hundreds of people, that wrote about their most memorable sexual encounters, their favorite fantasies and the most intense point of excitement they had had. In his book The Erotic Mind, Jack Morin presents a theory on how eroticism works, while weaving in some of the answers to the Sexual Excitement Survey. So this book is not just a dry theory book, it is also a great turn on 🙂
Bonus: Guide on How to Find Your Core Erotic Theme
To download the guide click the button below: